A world turned upside down.

OK, relax over there in Middle England Mail Reader Land. It is actually 0.54% of teenage girls in the more deprived parts of the country who are getting up the duff and not the 54% as previously announced by Conservative Party Central Office. Sorry about that. One of the chaps got a trifle confused with his decimal points. Could happen to anyone. The main point is that New Labour have failed to address the increasing gulf between the rich and poor in our society and continue to be totally relaxed in the company of the filthy rich. The New Tories on the other hand, under the firm but benign leadership of The Peoples Champion, Dave "Caring" Cameron, are working flat out to create policies to ensure a more equal and just society. Even as we speak an army of highly trained researchers are poring over yellowing texts by everyone from William Morris to Bill Morris in an attempt to get to grips with all this stuff. Co-operatives are said to be the coming thing and my contact at White's Club tells me that some senior Tories are even talking about the possibility of that lefty Clause Four thing being slotted into the manifesto somewhere. Strange times.