Please. Please. No more advice.

Pensioners are among that declining section of society who bother voting so between now and the General Election we can expect to be given a lot more attention than usual. It started with Osborn's budget announcement that he thought us all grown up enough to decide whether to wisely invest our 'pension pot' so as to secure an income for life or blow the fucking lot on fast cars, fine wines and wild sex. Now the government have gone a step further and will provide a life expectancy forecast to help us make the decision. One factor in the calculations that I have not heard mentioned yet is the simple fact that the richer you are the longer your life expectancy. One of the few advantages of being very poor is knowing that you won't have to make your tiny or none existent pension pot last too long. When you say it like that this whole thing is beginning to look less of a vote winner after all. I suspect that we will be deluged with lifestyle advice over the next few months. Had I known that I was going to live this long I would certainly have looked after myself better but I am reminded of the story of the famous baseball player who, still fit as a fiddle in his eighties, was being interviewed by a journalist. "To what do you attribute your longevity?" enquired the journo. The old timer looked puzzled, "How's that?" The journalist tried again, "How come you have lived so long?"  "Oh! I put that down to my diet." The hack licked his pencil in anticipation. "Yes, I eat nothing but strictly fried food."