Financial Literacy? Or a load of Balls.

A New Year message from our esteemed Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families, the one and only Ed Balls (Nottingham High School and Oxford) reveals plans for a new addition to the already overburdened school curriculum, financial literacy. On the face of it, teaching children how the financial system works seems like a pretty sound idea, but that is not quite what Balls has in mind. In an interview on the Radio 4 Today program he was asked what he felt was the single most important aspect of financial literacy that should be taught in schools. Apparently it's, "starting to save for a pension now". 

So there you have it kids. The meaning of life according to Ed Balls. Your life will be divided into three phases: Childhood - best stay indoors as much as possible during this phase lest you get involved with gangs , or strangers. Childhood will be followed by the middle or main bit during which you must concentrate on getting together enough money to ensure your comfort during the final bit, old age. Due to advances in technology, this final bit will be extended by several years of being incontinent and wishing that you had had more sex when young.

Don't listen to him kids! Not unless you want to end up as a boring twat like Ed Balls with horizons that don't extend beyond fiddling your expenses in order to consolidate your property portfolio. Make your life an adventure. This is not a dress rehearsal.